Not the best way to start a Friday.

Charlotte was up from 2 am to 6:30 am.  Some of it was cheerful, "Mom! Mom! Mom! Can you wrap Tigger*?" and some of it was tearful.  I got up the first 4 times (it was a trade-off long ago that I'd get up with Charlotte at night if Matt would be 100% in charge of the litterbox), but I started kind of falling apart around 5 am.  I couldn't separate my dreams from my awake time.  At one point, I thought Charlotte was shouting through the baby monitor, "Mom! I need more Tim Gunn!"  When I begged Matt to go in and help her, I finally realized that she was saving, "I need more Velveteen Rabbit!"  I guess I was feeling guilty for DVRing Project Runway and then deleting it before Charlotte watched it.

Now it's 8:46, and Charlotte's still asleep, and Matt's leaving for work.  Usually, no matter how little sleep she got, we wake her when Matt leaves.  We have found that Charlotte flips her lid if she wakes up and Daddy is already gone.  It totally messes with her head for HOURS.  Today though, she's only been asleep for about 2 hours.  There's gonna be hell to pay when I finally DO get her up, but I'm not going to wake her intentionally until at least 10:30.  If Charlotte wakes up before then, so be it, but I can't really look forward to a day of no television and that little sleep.

* Sometimes her best buddy Tigger likes to be swaddled. He's still a very young Tigger, you see, and he finds it comforting.  I guess.

Time for a little snore...

I've been quiet lately, but because nothing's happening. Mostly because I've been having trouble focusing on work, which means more and more of my time gets spent on work. Which means my time is split between work/Charlotte/essential chores/sleep. Leaving very little time for blogging/knitting/reading. I've been desperately renewing these library books, trying to at least finish the books I got on interlibrary loan. I mean, if I went to all that trouble to get them, I should really finish them, right? And I have two knitted Christmas presents that I'm not done with. Though that's not as bad as it seems - we just finished celebrating Christmas this past weekend.

Operation Big Girl Bed is continuing to go very well at bed times (knock on wood), but naps are a thing of the past. The misty, water-colored, well-rested past. Another result of the Big Girl Bed is that Charlotte is waking up much earlier (for her), around 7 am instead of 8 am. (I know, my 2 year old sleeps until 7 am, I'm lucky.) But as a result, I worry that she's getting just under 12 hours of sleep a day, which seems kind of low. Especially around 4 pm when she's just a mess of whining and demands. Especially around 6:30 pm when she's falling asleep into her dinner. Especially around 11 am when she's talking about "taking a little snore" and hopping around her room. It's just a cascade of Bad News most days. I desperately need the break and she desperately needs a nap. She has "Quiet Time" in her room, but that's not really relaxing for either of us. For Charlotte, Quiet Time just means a chance to play with the door closed and the lights off. For me, Quiet Time means a chance to find out what isn't toddler-proofed in her room as well as I thought it was. (How do you child proof a diaper pail? Or a wipes container?)

The one good thing about the crib was that (99.88% of the time) it kept Charlotte in one spot, and eventually she'd run out of things to do and she'd fall asleep. Or quietly chew her crib to splinters. Or stick stuff up her nose. But still, she'd be quiet. And I could get some work done, recharge, clean the kitchen, prep dinner, eat something without sharing, etc. It was a mid-day oasis. And now Nap/Quiet time has become yet another teachable moment/learning process in the middle of the day, when really, Charlotte and I both still need that break.

I know that this is all an adjustment, and that in 3 months this will have sorted itself out in some way...but coming from a place of overworked exhaustion, it's just hard to look forward. I need a break NOW.

Charlotte Can't Sleep...

Charlotte, to her toy puffin, in the rocking chair on my lap at 9:45 pm...

"How 'bout 'Teen Rabbit'?...okay, Puffin. Time to rest. Not time to play games. No games. This is serious. Time to rest. No games, Puffin. Serious. That you beak. It kinda like a beak. Serious. No games. Wrap you up. You cold, Puffin."

Lullaby

Charlotte's singing-myself-to-sleep solo tonight is "I'm a T. Rex", that Dinosaur Train ditty, interspersed with dog barks(!).

Can't find the T. Rex song online, but here's another clip.