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March 14, 2013

"I love your hair. I like the way it looks when it shimmers in the sun. I like the color...you're quite a looker." 

Conversation with teacher.

Most days, at pick-up, I ask Charlotte's teacher, Mrs. R, how the day went. And how Charlotte did. She was telling me about a conversation she overheard between Charlotte and her friend A.

A:  You could come to my house and we could have a playdate and watch "The Little Mermaid!"

Charlotte:  My mom and dad do not prefer "The Little Mermaid." But you can come to my house and we can watch "The Polar Express!"

I was laughing and kind of sheepish.  "It's true!" I said to Mrs. R. "She gets to watch lots of things but I just find 'The Little Mermaid' kind of creepy now. The part where she gives up all this stuff for a guy she doesn't know..."  Both Mrs. R and a friend agreed that it was a little off-putting.  I still felt a little sheepish about it, I don't want to be That Mom....but at the same time, "The Little Mermaid" is kind of an awful message wrapped up with some really catchy songs.

hipster ariel jpg copied from buzzfeed

QOTD: Overwrought

"I'm not crying anymore, but my mouth is still upside-down."

QOTD: Ambitious

C:  I think I could be a brilliant artist when I grow up.

Mama:  I think that's a great idea.

C:  Because you always like my art.

Mama:  I really do.

C:  And my art could be in a picture museum and I could be the richest girl in the world.

Mama:  What does that mean, richest girl in the world?

C:  It means everyone knows I am brilliant.

QOTD: That word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

c: Wanna hear a joke?

Me: Not really. I want you to eat.

C: What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal?

Me: Wait, WHAT?

C: What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal?

Me: What do you think a cannibal is?

C: You know, that thing, a ball a pirate shoots out of a cannon.  A canni-ball.

Me: Okay, fine.  What?

C: Well, the first cannibal says, one cannibal says, "Hey, who's that lady?" and the other cannibal says, "That's not a lady, that's my lunch!"

Me:  uh....

C: Isn't that funny?

****
I have NO idea where she learned that joke.

QOTD: The Director

Charlotte, in a tone of indignation, "Daddy, you're improvising!"

(playing a tightly scripted scene where Charlotte is Captain Hook and Matt is the Tick Tock Croc)

QOTD: Charlotte, Cat Scientist

C:  Mom!  I made a discovery about [our cat] Virgil!

M:  Oh?  What kind of discovery?

C:  Look, his tooth sticks out of his mouth. You can see it.  Actually, two.  I think he's a vampire.

QOTD: Oh my god, she's a Republican!

Talking tonight at dinner, about what Charlotte would do, hypothetically, if she got a talking Buzz Lightyear for her birthday.

Matt:  What if it was in Spanish mode, like in the movie?

Charlotte:  I would find the instructions and put it back to real talking.

Matt:  Wait, what?  So if the lever is on this side, what is Buzz doing?

Charlotte:  Talking Spanish.

Matt:  And if I change it to that side?

Charlotte:  Talking real language.

D'oh!

QOTD: Only in Massachusetts?

Another "Overheard in the Bathroom" moment:

Charlotte:  This is Massachusetts.  You have to watch out for bicycles.

QOTD: A week or so late.

Matt is a huge football fan - specifically, a Patriots fan. Large amounts of my family are Christian and/or Denver fans, so, Tim Tebow fans.  Matt and I were talking a lot about Tim Tebow last week, and at bedtime, Charlotte surprised me by saying, kind of hilariously dismissively,

"Tim Tebow, Spit-tee-bow."

Because "spit" is a silly, dirty, slightly naughty word to her.  She was clearly pleased at her insult, and I totally cracked up.  She now repeats it when she is fishing for a laugh, and I pretty much always indulge her.  Heh.

QOTD: Master of the Segue

Mama:  Charlotte, do you want some hot chocolate?

Charlotte:  Yes!  Speaking of hot chocolate, how about we watch The Polar Express?

QOTD: Circular logic is circular.

Charlotte:  Just wait until they see me at school.  They are going to thinking I look cool.

Mama:  Why?  What do you think makes this outfit look cool?

Charlotte:  Because I look cool.

QOTD: Black Friday Edition

"I am ready for Christmas to come back."

QOTD: Waiter? There's a philosopher in my daughter.

"The real magic word is maybe."  - Charlotte

Charlotte, the singer/songwriter.

This past weekend, the northeast was pummeled by a weird October Nor'Easter, dumping maybe a foot of heavy wet snow on our town.  Power was out for 24 hours (and we are the lucky ones) and school has been out for three days.  Charlotte's schedule was thrown out of whack, and she was feeling a great deal of non-specific anxiety.  It was manifesting as concern for Virgil, the cat.  She was worried that he was feeling scared.  Matt joked that if Virgil was upset he would sing him "Soft Kitty."



Charlotte liked it, but instead of singing "Soft Kitty" herself, she made up her own song.  She then wrote it down on a piece of paper, so that Matt would know the words, too.  She handed it to him and said, "I can't write words so I just wrote zig-zags.  You read it!"

Matt convinced her that he could not read zig-zags, and I told her that I would write it down for her.  Now on its third incarnation, I wrote it out in magenta crayon on a piece of scrap paper, and Charlotte is so proud, you wouldn't belive it.  So, without further ado, here is Charlotte's Song For Making Cats Feel Less Nervous:

Don't worry, Kitty.
Zig-zag you.  Pum.
I'll come to help you, Kitty.
Zig-zag you.  Bim.
Don't worry, Kid.
Hmm?  I have a clue!
Plumber, searchy ray -
Zig-zag you.
All done!
Kitty, don't worry.

QOTD - Mama's a good cooker

"This burger is SUPER AWESOME!"

burger = crispy tofu, with cheddar cheese and bacon on a hamburger roll, with a little honey mustard.  She asked for it again today.

QOTD: Frustration

"But WHY is it raining?  Everyone wants to hula hoop!"

QOTD: Charlotte on wearing dresses

"This one had two big pockets.  I do not prefer to wear pants."

Drama-rama

Miss Drama is off at her grandparents for the weekend, but I'd like to note this from the other day.  One of the things our very wordy daughter does is to make up stories almost constantly, and narrate herself.  Some of it is cooking show type stuff when she's playing in the kitchen.  "And now you add the carrots and the ginger.  Smell that ginger!"  And some of it is trying to talk her way out of something.  "I was just blowing bubbles in my milk.  Boys and girls like to blow bubbles in their milk."  The other night was particularly hilarious.  Well, the overall situation was not hilarious; Charlotte was pushing every single button she knows how to push with her Daddy, and that is saying a lot.  Stubbornly refusing to listen or clean up, she ended up getting all sorts of things taken away - no stories at bed time, no extra toys in bed, no outside play time.  When it was finally bed time and her room was clean, Matt rocked her in the rocking chair for a few minutes, and she narrated the whole thing to herself, out loud.

"And tears were rolling down her cheeks....because she would never have her toys, ever again."

Daddy gets in a Quote of the Day

I knew Matt & Charlotte hadn't left to go to the grocery store yet, but it was so quiet that I couldn't imagine what they were doing.  I tracked them to Charlotte's room, where Matt was sitting in the rocking chair and Charlotte was on the footstool, and he was trying to braid her hair.  I stifled a giggle, and ducked out of sight.

"What are you laughing at?" called Matt.

"Nothing.  Well, the look on your face while you're braiding her hair - overwhelmed, but kinda determined."

"That?" said Matt.  "That's a 'Parent Face.'"